Our discussion of All That Is Mine I carry With Me by William Landay was easy and short this month. Although most of us found the novel interesting and easy to read, several found it too long and depressing. Most of us believed that the father was guilty of murder, but at least one of us felt that the evidence was circumstantial, making the ending still unsatisfying.

One member found the style convoluted. She suggested that Jane’s sister Kate should have been used to describe Jane’s ghost perspective. She was disturbed by the idea that the daughter wrote the details of rape and her father’s fondling of his girlfriend’s daughter. She also wanted Dan to suffer. If proof of his murder was to be found, it should have happened before he got dementia so that Miranda could punish him by putting him in the senior home against his will. This would have given many of us a more satisfying ending.

We wondered why Alex wasn’t given his own section. Why would he stick so solidly by his father? One of us said, “Honor thy father.” Another reminded us of the proverb, “blood is thicker than water.” In general, we believed that Miranda and Jeff’s lives were ruined by their mother’s disappearance and the uncertainty of their father’s culpability. One member disliked Dan from the moment he insisted that Jeff mow the lawn in only one way, sharing a similar anecdote from his own upbringing.

We discussed how accurate was the depiction of Alzheimer’s, and one of us shared her own story of her grandmother’s recent passing. A member who is a retired nurse said that Alzheimer’s returns a person to the state of an infant. One of us recommended the book and film Still Alice. Someone questioned the ability of a male author to write from a woman’s viewpoint – but I don’t know if this was a compliment or a criticism! One of us recommended author Wally Lamb. Another of us shared his grandmother’s philosophy that there should never be reason for suicide. The world is so big. Just leave and start again somewhere else. As usual, we happened upon interesting connections and they flowed along in a surprisingly calm meeting.

I did not ask how Miranda and Jeff’s lives might have been different had their parents simply divorced. Wouldn’t Jeff have still been at odds with his father and the struggling black sheep of the family anyway? Miranda’s depression seemed clinical, perhaps inherited; how might she have been different? No one stepped into the question about circumstantial evidence and capital punishment. Nor to the question that in the end, when Miranda took the poison that had been intended for Dan’s suicide and closed the door to be alone with him, what will be her culpability? We thought on this though. One of us agreed that Miranda would likely be charged with murder.

Tattooed on Miranda’s arm is the Latin Omnia mea mecum porto – All that is mine I carry with me. One of our group said he still didn’t quite understand this reference. My cursory research did not find an authoritative answer. Is this the spurning of physical goods in favor of that which is always with us—our character and wisdom? At the end, has Miranda’s character changed? I also found a translation that suggested, “I am what I remember” – which is also fitting, given that our murder suspect had dementia at the end of the novel. Has his culpability changed now that he has no memory of murder?

Sometimes a lifetime is not enough to grasp such weighty questions.

Other works discussed:

• If I Did It: Confessions of the Killer ; With Exclusive Commentary “He Did It” by the Goldman Family (2007) O.J. Simpson
• Ladder of Years (1995) Anne Tyler
• The Other Side of Suffering The Father of JonBenet Ramsey Tells the Story of His Journey from Grief to Grace (2012)
• She’s Come Undone (1992) Wally Lamb
• Still Alice (2009) Lisa Genova / (2014 Film)  starring Julianne Moore